FANFIC- FRAGMENTS OF MEMORIES(8)

“Len. Len, don’t go. Stay with me! I need you!”

I watched as he walked past me, walking away without saying anything. I cried, tears were flowing down. I tried to stop him but I stood still unable to do anything.

“No!!! Stop!!!”

TEET! TEET! TEET! I woke up, staring at the ceiling. The sounds of the machines in the room were ringing in my head. I glanced around and saw mom on my right. What the heck? Just a dream. It’s just a dream, I relaxed myself. I blinked few times, trying to wake me completely from the dream.

It’s been 8 moths now since I moved here. 8 months since the last time I saw Len at the airport. The last time I spoke to him. I took a picture frame from the desk on my left. A picture of me and Len playing at the beach. We looked so happy. I cried, I’ve longed to see him. Longed to touch his face, brushed his hair and eat ice-cream together. How is he?

After a while, I took out my cell phone and listen to some song. I played ‘Friendship’ by Okazaki Ritsuko. The song really portrayed how I was.

Yesterday kotoba ga tarinakute
Surechigatta to shitemo
Yamenai de motto wakaritai

Toki ni hitori ni naritakute
Tabi wo shitemo kokoro wa umaranai
Soshite taisetsu na hito ni kidzuku yo

Itsumo itsumo sou umaku yuku to wa kagiranai mainichi
Dakedo waratte

Kimi ga kureta tatta hitokoto ga dorehodo ureshikatta ka
Zutto zutto oboeteru

I sang along.

Memories mafuyu no kaerimichi
Shiroi yuki ni ashiato
Furitsumoru atataka na kimochi

Itsuka hanarete kurasu hi ga kitemo
Kitto tomodachi
Dare yori mo itsumo chikaku ni kanjiteru kara

Tooku tooku tada kagayakite mieta mirai ga sugusoko
Saa ikanakucha

I tried to remember my past with Len. Trying hard to remember it.

Kitto kimi ga sono akogare ya negai wo kanaeru koto
Zutto zutto shinjiteru

Itsumo itsumo sou umaku yukuku to wa kagiranai mainichi
Dakedo waratte

I stared at the picture of us in the frame. I wished we could meet again.

Kimi ga kureta tatta hitokoto ga dorehodo ureshikatta ka
Zutto zutto oboeteru

Tooku tooku tada kagayakite mieta mirai ga sugusoko
Saa ikanakucha

Kitto kimi ga sono akogare ya negai wo kanaeru koto
Zutto zutto shinjiteru

Zutto zutto shinjiteru

When the song ended, I put the frame back at it place. Took out my diary and wrote the lyrics on it. Trying to remember each of the lyrics and translate it to English. I’m glad mom didn’t wake up or that would be a bit embarrassing.

After some time, the doctor came in. mom was surprised that she jumped off her chair. They whispered something and I was trying hard to figure what they were saying. Then, they both when out and I stared blankly, wanting someone to explain what’s going to happen. Dad came in this time with a few nurses behind following him. He sat beside me and smiled. I smiled back.  He patted my head a few times.

“Good luck, dear. Stay alive, fight for him.”

Dad went towards the door. I tried to figure out what’s he was trying to say.

“Daddy, what do you mean? Don’t go, stay with me. I’m lonely here!”

Completely faking not hearing me, dad closed the door. I caught a glimpsed of him, crying. Well that’s a bit unusual. The nurses surrounded me and one of them took out a syringe and pressed it on my arm.

“Not that… thing… again.”

I FAINTED.

I was at the hallway when I woke up. Mom was there beside me, dad was nowhere in sight. She said I am going for an operation again. But this is the last time she said. The operation decides on my life and death. Mom then went away when the doctor called her. The nurse there was kind enough to give me a pen and a piece of paper and let me write a few things. I’m going to write for him. For Len.

Hey, Len. How are you? I miss you so bad. I hope you will too. I still remember our promise and I tried to keep it. But when you received this letter, I either am alive or dead. I’m wearing the socks. The socks you gave me for my birthday, I’m glad I brought this here. At least when I looked at it, I remembered you.

The nurse told me I got two minutes left so I really have… to stop writing.

I am going for an operation after this. Len, this last operation, I don’t know if I can make it out or not. Every day I prayed so hard that I can see you again, I hope it came true. If I can make it alive, I hope you still remember me as I do every day. I hope we can hang out like we used too and make lots of memories together like last time. But if I can’t, I want to say that I’m sorry that I forgot about our times together and I will always remember you till the last breath. I love you.

I gave the letter to the nurse and asked her to give it to mom. Then she pushed me towards the operation room. I prayed.